Jesusbudda’s Weblog

You know those times when you get a little angry and you feel that you need to express said anger verbally using a combination of words?

Those times when you stub your toe, or you come across someone/something/some creature/some event that really, REALLY gets your goat?!!!

Ahhh, so you do know what I’m referring to!

It’s those moments when you just let loose with a stream of nonsensical expletives that usually contains several “fucks”, “fuckers”, “cocksuckers”, “pricks”, “assholes”, “motherfuckers”, “cunts”, “dickheads”, shitheads” and such like.

My question is this: Why are these words so especially suited to such occasions?

Why is the word “FUCK” so magical?

You can list off a sentence such as the following and get your point across quite well, I feel:

“Fuck you, you fucking fucked-up fucking little motherfucking fuck-faced fucker!”

Why in God’s almighty fucking name is the word fuck so fucking fabulous?!

You bang your head on the edge of a table or fall out of bed: what do you say?

Fuck!

you don’t say: “jeekers!”

I truly believe that you could get by and have entire conversations using the word FUCk and certain variations on it.

Here is an everyday scenario:

You walk into a local shop to purchase a box of Corn Flakes. You go to the checkout girl and casually start a conversation…..

Customer: Fucking!

Checkoutgirl: Excuse me?

Customer: Fucking!!!!

Checkoutgirl: Ohhhh! (laughs) You fucking fuck!

Customer: (Laughing back heartily) Fuck me, you are a fucking fuck of a fucker.

Checkoutgirl: Ohhhh! (Bashful) fuck off, you fuck! Fucking fucked up fuck, you motherfucking fuck.

Customer: (Romantically) Fancy a fuckety fuck at the fucking fucked up fuckers fuck?

Checkoutgirl: Ohhhh! (Excited) Fucking A!

Customer: (Pleased) Frilly fuck around fucking 8 ‘o fuck. Fuckety-fucking fuck, pip!

Checkoutgirl: Ohhhh! (Smiling) Fuck off fucking later, fucker!

And the guy waves to the checkout girl as he merrily leaves the shop with his box of cereal neatly tucked under his arm, as he rushes home to get ready for their big date later that evening.

Is FUCK the most useful word of all?

Trapped on a desert Island?
Don’t bother writing SOS in the sand – write FUCK instead.
It will immediately get attention.

Curious passersby in airplanes will think that you may be offering sexual favors.

Angry sailors who would otherwise not bother rescuing a castaway would have no problem going to inspect an inland in which someone offended them by directing the expression “Fuck!” at them!

Alien beings will recognize the expression as a commonly heard phrase used by humanoids all across the World and maybe beam you aboard their flying saucer!

And with that I bid you fuck off!