Jesusbudda’s Weblog

Hello, friends!

Today I’d like to talk about beauty.

Have you ever seen a hideously deformed, hairy man with a stunningly attractive woman?

Of course you have!

Naturally you presume that the girl is with the toad because he must be rich, rich, rich!

But this is not always the case.

Take for instance the other day: I was walking along, minding my own beeswax when I spy a freak-show of a man with a very beautiful brunette young lady.

Now, I happen to know that this man is shit poor, so she’s not with him for his money.
Even if he lied to her and told her that he was an eccentric ugly bastard from a dynasty of wealthy kings she would never believe him.
He is a very honest person so would never lie.
He is a freak of nature and it’s plain to see.

But why then was she with him?

Some would say that he possibly has a huge penis.
This is a reasonable assumption but that would not explain how it even got to the stage where she would actually see it!

Maybe he has a stunning personality?

It’s possible, but again, its unlikely that he would get the chance to show this “amazing personality” because his deformities would be way too distracting.

Maybe he smells nice

Plainly untrue. I’ve smelled him and he stinks. Ok, that’s untrue – he merely has no scent whatsoever. He is a ‘mute’ scent. He is an aroma free zone.

No, it is simply down to the beautiful young woman seeing something in the freak that nobody else does.

A perfect example of beauty in the eye of the beholder.

It works both ways.

Freaky men with beautiful women, and freaky women with good-looking men.

It tends to be more noticeable when you see freaky men with hot women though.

What is hot and what is not?

Again, it depends on the person’s personal choice and tastes.

I am a freak.

Its plainly obvious but some people seem to like me occasionally.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Considered two beautiful people together for photo opportunities and occasional baby adoption purposes.

I think Pitt looks like a gerbil.

Others will disagree.
Yes, he is an attractive man, but there’s something not quite right….

As for Angelina, I have issues with her.

She doesn’t seem real, does she?
Her lips scare me slightly and she seems to be a cross between Lara Croft in Tomb Raider videogames and that famous image of the Afghani girl from the cover of Time magazine years ago.
She creeps me out lately rather than turns me on.

And putting the two of them together seems a bit Ken and Barbie – except weirder.

I’ve never got Julia Roberts.

I’m sure she’s a lovely woman but I just don’t like her.

But, I do have a thing for Jennifer Connelly.

I used to think she was a bit of a pain, but after seeing her in the Hulk and that utterly shit Leonardo diCaprio film The Blood Diamond, I grew very attracted to her.

I’m not suggesting I wanked off to her!
Well……..maybe just the once……

Leonardo DiCaprio!

He’s clearly a gay schoolboy.
I doesn’t take a genius to work out how he got his BIG break in Hollywood, now does it!

He has a little boy face – actually, scrap that, he has a little GIRL face. A little RETARDED girl’s face!

They give him tough roles to play in the movies but it is plain to see that Woody Allen would kick his scrawny ass!

Penelope Cruz?

I think she is beautiful like a little Spanish mouse.
There’s something cute about her and you just know she would fit perfectly in your pocket and be a good laugh.
Why you would need to put her in your pocket is anybodies guess….

Look, I’m getting sidetracked here! I’m supposed to be discussing that freaky ugly guy I saw on the street the other say with the beautiful woman.

The thing is, an ugly guy with a hot woman is like a nectar-filled flower – he will attract more and more hot females simply because they will feel that he has something ‘special’.
Getting the first girl will lead to others!

It’s the same with married men.

Married men will stand a better chance of attracting beautiful women than a single guy.
It must be something to do with the other women using marriage as a measure of desirability – a man who is married (especially to a cute woman) is obviously something to lust after. Even if he’s an ugly bastard!!!

I think that there is a limit to beauty.

Somebody can be too beautiful. You need to find the acceptable limit of beauty to suit your needs.

Think about it: an ugly man who dates a gorgeous model will forever have trouble if he sticks with her. He will feel under pressure all the time he’s around her as others stare and point.

His only hope will be to seek out a woman who is more on his level.

Somebody who he can be himself with and not have to always feel insecure and uncomfortable around.

So, in conclusion, I think that the guy I saw on the street will enjoy his short period of time with the voluptuous woman and then eventually seek out an equally ugly hag as time goes on.

Only then will he have happiness and peace.
Yet, even then, the cycle will continue as he lusts after another voluptuous lady, break up and seek solace in another ugly skank….and so on and so on.