This is an Announcement July 9, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: comedy, funny, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, Jesus Budda, satire, shit, spoof
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You presume that something serious is about to be said when someone says that ‘This is an Announcement’.
Its gonna be something big.
Its gonna be something special.
Its gonna be something that will change not only your life but the lives of future generations.
But it usually just ends up being some useless advice on avoiding getting stuck between the train tracks and the train, not eating nuts or that someone is getting married.
I hate big build-ups to nothingness.
I like the big stuff.
Big stories.
Big events.
Big….BIGNESSS!!!!!!!
I don’t like being told that ‘This is an Announcement’ and then discovering that it could simply have been called a ‘Comment’ or an ‘Aside’!
If you’ve got a real announcement to make then go right ahead.
I won’t stop you.
But my Smurf friends will. They use deadly force. They spare no one!
But please, pretty, pretty witty please with sugar on top – do not say this is an announcement unless its gonna be a biggy.
Ok?
OK???!!!!
Good. Now go to your room and get ready for bed.
Do you have an army of Smurfs? Can I borrow them? I need to launch an attack on my neighbours.
I’ll send them over right away!
Excellent! And might I add… Bwehahahahahaha!
I have a semi-funny tale to relate.
Jah Wobble (real name John Wardle) was the bass player in the John Lydon-fronted Public Image Limited. When he left, he went solo for a few years before becoming disillusioned with the music business, and leaving it for ‘regular jobs’. He drove taxis, and later became a member of staff at London Underground, beavering away, like they do.
One day he even got bored with that, and, walking into one of the station offices, he used the tannoy system to make a public announcement. He said:
“Ladies and gentlemen, I USED TO BE SOMEBODY.”
Then he left and went back into the music business.
This was not a spoof.
You were write when you said “semi funny”. in fact, it was barely funny at all.
An “amusing anecdote” would be probably stretching it a bit too…
Don’t be like that, you fucking tosspot.
Did I say ‘fucking tosspot’? Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that at all. What I meant to say was … er … oh, bollox, JB. If you can’t stand being called a fucking tosspot, then don’t start your own website, that’s all I can say.
Respectfully yours,
Wonkey Moods
PS. I love you
xxx
i love you too, Monkey my boy.
The shared love that can only exist between humans and animals that isn’t illegal and sick.
If you say I am a ‘tosspot’, then a tosspot I shall be:
I’m a little tosspot
Shot and stout
Here’s my handle
And heres my spout.
I’ve forgotten the rest.
Or maybe I’ve deliberately forgotten it so aht I can save on typing time and put my nimble fingers to a more productive use.