Great Offers on Square Watches! June 13, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: blue whale, comedy, email, funny, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, Hong Kong, humor, Jesus Budda, satire, shit, spam, spoof, Swatch watch, unicorn, watches
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Wow!
Can you imagine my excitement at checking my email account and discovering 25 messages with ‘amazing’ offers on square watches?
Not circular.
Not oval.
Not triangular.
No – SQUARE WATCHES!
Amazing!
Who doesn’t want a bargain basement price SQUARE WATCH?
Me!
I don’t fucking want one.
I don’t fucking need one.
The same way I don’t want or need penis enlargement pills.
(OK, maybe I do need them….)
Why the hell does some Chinese guy sitting in a dungeon in a Hong Kong slum (?) feel the need to plug in his computer and send out millions of these shitty spam mails?
Does anyone ever feel the desire to actually reply and say:
“Oh, hello Mister Person Man
I read with great interest your fascinating email regarding SQUARE WATCHES and I couldn’t help think that it is indeed the perfect opportunity for me to purchase said item for my chubby, square wrist.
Please find enclosed my bank account and credit card details.
Please, Kind gentle Sir, deduct the appropriate monetary amount from my well-stocked account and send me a SQUARE WACTH within 28 days.
Yours faithfully with love and kisses,Dick Head“
This is an actual emailed reply and is not a spoof.
Why doesn’t somebody spam people with something useful?
Like, EVERLASTING LIFE?
Or a UNICORN?
Square watches are stupid and dated.
Like Swatch watches.
Or Calculator watches with little, teeny-tiny buttons.
If the Internet spammer is reading this blog post – and why shouldn’t he be? – then I ask you to please send me only messages relating to everlasting life and unicorns.
Or a blue whale.
I’d love a blue whale.
And you can quote me on that.*
*Legally you may not quote me on this – under penalty of death and shame.
That is funny!
http://messedupparentingtips.wordpress.com/
Nice! I get tons of Cyrillc med spam. I now include them in my thread comments (without the the hyperlinks) and attribute them to a guy named Yuri. Then I berate the hell out of him. I fiind that helps me.
I get those too alan! Is it really a language or what?
As for square watches, does anyone even wear watches anymore? Everyone I know just checks the clock on their cellphones.
Soon wristwatches will go the way of the pocket watch. Outdated and generally shitty.
It’s in Revelations, people! I don’t remember which part of Revelations, but I definately think I may have seen that statement somewhere in that particular book of the Bible.
Probably.
missfierce; Yes, it is Cryllic. According to the know it alls at Princeton wordnet… Cyrillic alphabet: an alphabet derived from the Greek alphabet and used for writing Slavic languages (Russian, Bulgarian, Serbian, Ukrainian, and some other Slavic languages.
jesusbudda: You busy with your converts?
Cyrill Ick?
I think I know him……
Nice information, I have been reading some very interesting stuff here, thanks for the view and keep up the good work
Maria
Maria Mali:
Are you sure you mean, “Interesing stuff”? Or do you mean the disjointed ramblings of a certified lunatic?
It’s easy to get the 2 confused sometimes.
Oh, now I get it!
Maria’s just a spammer who is insinuating that you have a teeny weenie.
Doesn’t spam filter usually catch these?