Cabbage Patch Kids – New Updated 21st Century Versions April 5, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: cabbage patch kids, comedy, doll, fat, fat woman images, funny, funny fat, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, Jesus Budda, satire, shit, spoof, toy
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Remember the Cabbage Patch Kids?
Funny looking dolls with fat faces and little dots for eyes.
Freaky motherfuckers.
They came in a cabbage – by that I mean they came packaged in a plastic cabbage, not that they did anything X-rated!Well, imagine if they were more than toys.
Imagine if they were almost realistic and life-sized!Here are some examples of the updated versions of life-sized cabbage patch kids in various surroundings.
Enjoy, dick-heads!
This one comes in a back-pack style.
Wear a fat kid to school!
Be the envy of all your friends!
This man is way too old to be carrying a fat kid backpack.
What’s he thinking?
He’ll be the laughing stock of the village.
This is one of the new line in “Action Cabbage Patch Kids” toys – aimed mainly at boys or butch girls.
Comes with articulated arms which have realistic flexing hinges at the elbows.
Very popular with kids in Turkey apparently.
This one comes with realistic “ I have no friends because I’m a fat fuck” accessaries.
Or should that be “non-accessories“….
This is part of the new “Teen” range of Cabbage Patch Kids – aimed primarily at 13 to 19 year olds.
Comes with several accessories such as a drug habit, alcohol problem and a bad attitude.
Doll says various phrases such as: “shut up!” and “Thats not fair!”.
Special lever on back of doll when activated makes belly enlarge for realistic teen pregnancy action. Mini-sized cabbage patch baby not included.
Well, would you buy one if you were a kid?
No, me neither.
Fuck off!









I had one. A Cabbage Patch doll, that is. They came with birth certificates. Mine’s name was Zarah Genevive.
Shitty name, huh? I think I ended up renaming is something Tiffany or Amber. Maybe it was Tiffany-Amber. This was a long time ago.
I remember it did have brown hair, because I have brown hair and that myy cousin got a blonde one, because she had blonde hair.
The hair was made from yarn which reminds me of dreadlocks now..
I think it’s a lovely name.
For a retarded doll, that is!
I always wanted a
. Remember them? It was a cudly worm. That glowed.
It was for girls but I always wanted one.
Some girls toys were pretty nifty.
In general, though, boys toys were better.
Girls toys had cool stuff like horses that the figures could actually sit on and cars they could actually fit in.
Boys toys had bizarre proportions – in terms of figure size compared to the machines/army tanks they drove. I had a soldier dude and his army tank was only up to his knees!
God bless George Lucas and his Star Wars stuff.
Everything fitted nicely with that stuff.
“I always wanted a Glow-Worm”
– I had one of those! That was one of the many toys/stuffed animals i piled around me before i went sleep at night. Didn’t it play a song?
I didn’t think it was just for girls though. I thought they were unisex.
I had a bunch of Rainbow Bright stuff– including Patty O’Green, my favorite out of all the Color Kids. I had her horse too.
Those were the days, weren’t they?
The “Color Kids”?????
Never heard of ‘em.
I remember the
.
Do you?
The Color Kids were who Rainbow Bright was supposted to protect from the show’s villian. He wanted to turn them gray.
I do remember “The Get Along Gang”! Didn’t they live in a boxcar or something? The only one I remember is the lamb. What was her name? Lolly, Dolly? Something like that.
Remember He-Man and She-rah?
- Wiki of The Get Along Gang
- Do I!!!
My friend had a battlecat and Skeletor. And Skeletors lair.
I had a beast man and …….the He-Man record.
Yes!
The He-Man album.
God I was a cool child!
I wasn’t aware He-Man had a record. Did he actually sing on it or was it more of a story telling sort of thing?
Either way, that He-Man is one talented fellow!
And I’m sure you WERE a VERY cool child! I know I was
It was a story record.
Skeletor was creating a vortex in time and space – as you do when you’re an evil skeleton.
There were songs on the record too.
It was great. The storyteller sounded like Vincent Price on acid.
Probably was!!!
“And I’m sure you WERE a VERY cool child! I know I was
”
- I’m sure you were, MB.
The kid all the other kids want to play with.
A bit like Michael Jackson – except not creepy.