Is Mother Theresa Still Alive? April 30, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: comedy, dead, funny, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, Jesus Budda, religion, satire, science, shit, spoof
46 comments
Is the sacred Mother of the poor slum children of India still alive?
Why do I ask?
Well, I have no idea.
It’s the first thing that came into my head when i started typing. By that, I mean the first thing that came into my head when I started typing TODAY – not the first thing that came into my head when I started typing for the very first time using an electronic typewriter a number of years ago.
I actually cannot recollect the very first thing I typed.
I wonder why that is?
Was it too traumatic?
Maybe it was just shit?
Maybe it was the thought of thinking about thinking of typing that I thought?
Maybe thats why I can’t remember – my thought of thinking about thinking about typing canceled out my thoughts of thinking about typing.
So, to Mother Theresa.
You probably know her as the wrinkly old woman who was kind to the poor and a friend of the Pope.
To me, she was a wrinkly old woman who was kind to the poor and a friend of the Pope.
Is she dead?
Photographic evidence has surfaced which may prove otherwise.
Examine each picture and tell me what you think.
Or don’t.
I’m an equal opportunities guy and I don’t really care either way.
She’s alive!!!!!
And much, much smaller. And cuter!
Here’s another sighting that was reported in some shithole of a country. This one was protesting about some shit.
Here she is spotted wandering aimlessly (and naked) about the countryside.
Some say she eats goats.
i say she’s just hungry.
Dead or alive?
Either way, she’s a kerazzzzy lady!
Is the Glass Half Full or Half Empty? April 25, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: comedy, cult, funny, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, Jesus Budda, satire, shit, spoof, water
10 comments
Well, what do you think?
Is the Glass half empty or half full?
I’ve been staring at it and I’ve come to a number of conclusions:
A: That the glass is half full.
B: That the glass is half empty.
C: That the glass doesn’t exist and it is simply an illusion.
D: That the glass doesn’t exist and is just a photograph of an object resembling a glass but it is not in fact a glass.
E: That I’m thirsty.
Well?
What do you think?
Am I thirsty?
Are YOU thristy?
Do YOU exist?
Peek-a-boo April 20, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: baby, comedy, funny, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, Jesus Budda, peek-a-boo, satire, shit, spoof
15 comments
The ancient game of Peek-a-boo has been a staple of babies ‘fun’ for generations.
Ancient tribes played the intricate game with their children to establish relationships and form everlasting bonds.
These bonds were the basis for the formation of civilization and the banding together of groups to achieve common goals.
Together, these groupings formed the world we now live in – a Utopia where everyone lives in peace and harmony, a world in which children and animals run wild and free in lush, green meadows, a world in which the songbirds whistle to celebrate the joy of watching the sun rise over dew-covered fields of corn.
A world of love and understanding.
And it’s all thanks to Peek-a-boo.
God bless you, Peek-a-boo.
God bless the noble game.
Addiction April 16, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: addiction, comedy, funny, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, Jesus Budda, satire, shit, spoof
13 comments
Are you addicted?
I mean, to anything.
Not just drugs or alcohol.
I’m talking of every addiction.
Like addiction to rubbing your shoulders against walls.
Or addiction to ‘things’.
I have many addictions.
I’m not telling what they are but you are free to guess. I still won’t tell you, though.
What is an addiction anyways?
What do you need to qualify as an addict?
Do you need to devote each and every minute of the day to your cravings?
Or is there a certain time limit required?
Does an addiction have to be detrimental to your health and well-being?
Say, for instance, you are ‘addicted’ to sticking your fingers into every available wall socket – does that count as an addiction or a quirk?
When does ‘liking something a lot’ become an addiction?
If there’s no one else around and you live, say, on a desert island entirely by yourself and you collect bits of tree bark in an addictive fashion does that count as an addiction or not?
If nobody else is around to tell you of your addiction, how will you know you have a problem?
Are addictions contagious?
Does standing next to a heroin addict at a bus stop every day somehow ‘rub off’ on your own inner demons?
One minute you are a school kid reading a comic, the next you’re injecting pure heroin directly into your eyeballs.
Probably.
Can you be addicted to being addicted?
I presume that you can.
But can you be addicted to the idea of being addicted to being addicted?
Possibly.
Penis Enlargement Pills April 8, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: comedy, funny, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, internet, Jesus Budda, naked, nude, nudity, penis, satire, science, shit, spoof
19 comments
I’ve been getting quite a few emails lately advising me to avail of great offers on penis enlargement pills at discount prices.
Why are they picking on me?
I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone else in the World.
I can’t imagine anyone else getting such emails.
It’s unheard of!
Are they trying to tell me my dick is small?
It’s about 6 inches long – well, if I cheat a little.
Thats pretty normal, isn’t it? Isn’t it?????
How did they find out?
They must have spies!
But where?
Ahh haaa!
Public toilets.
I’ve noticed some strange activity around public urinals.
Strange men taking sneaky peeks left and right when they should be focusing on the job in hand – literally!
Thats it!
They must travel around public urinals searching for prime candidates.
Those with small dicks or ‘average’ dicks get the emails.
Those with huge dicks get recruited for pornographic films.
Those with no dicks….well, they shouldn’t be using a urinal in the first place.
I wonder if anyone else has received these emails? I doubt it.
I’m afraid they may come looking for me soon. Start knocking on the door and calling out “Jesus Budda, we know you’re in there. Come out and take your penis enlargement pills this minute!“
If it comes to that, I’ll escape in my time machine to a time when penis enlargement pills and email doesn’t exist.
Medieval times. I’ll be a peasant during the plague times. My name will be Jockser the Shitter. I’ll gurn a lot and be dirty. I’ll live outside the town walls and beg from passing noblemen.
“Spare some coppers, m’lordship?“, I’ll enquire.
And they’ll say “Fuck off, Jockser the Shitter, get out of our way. We’re going to the countryside to slaughter a sheep for the feast of St. Joseph of the Broken Toenails“.
No pills. No hassle. Just a short life and the prospect of dying in extreme agony from a flea-spread disease.
Cabbage Patch Kids – New Updated 21st Century Versions April 5, 2009
Posted by jesusbudda in Uncategorized.Tags: cabbage patch kids, comedy, doll, fat, fat woman images, funny, funny fat, funny image, funny images, funny pictures, humor, Jesus Budda, satire, shit, spoof, toy
8 comments
Remember the Cabbage Patch Kids?
Funny looking dolls with fat faces and little dots for eyes.
Freaky motherfuckers.
They came in a cabbage – by that I mean they came packaged in a plastic cabbage, not that they did anything X-rated!Well, imagine if they were more than toys.
Imagine if they were almost realistic and life-sized!Here are some examples of the updated versions of life-sized cabbage patch kids in various surroundings.
Enjoy, dick-heads!
This one comes in a back-pack style.
Wear a fat kid to school!
Be the envy of all your friends!
This man is way too old to be carrying a fat kid backpack.
What’s he thinking?
He’ll be the laughing stock of the village.
This is one of the new line in “Action Cabbage Patch Kids” toys – aimed mainly at boys or butch girls.
Comes with articulated arms which have realistic flexing hinges at the elbows.
Very popular with kids in Turkey apparently.
This one comes with realistic “ I have no friends because I’m a fat fuck” accessaries.
Or should that be “non-accessories“….
This is part of the new “Teen” range of Cabbage Patch Kids – aimed primarily at 13 to 19 year olds.
Comes with several accessories such as a drug habit, alcohol problem and a bad attitude.
Doll says various phrases such as: “shut up!” and “Thats not fair!”.
Special lever on back of doll when activated makes belly enlarge for realistic teen pregnancy action. Mini-sized cabbage patch baby not included.
Well, would you buy one if you were a kid?
No, me neither.
Fuck off!
