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Using Phone to access the Web February 28, 2009

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Accessing web pages on your phone?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried it and it nearly drove me mad!

I hated it. I’m never trying it again. Never!
Well, maybe when it gets better functionality and responsiveness in the future. But until then I’ll just use a regular computer.


My poor thumbs were destroyed from trying to scroll around the badly loaded pages.

And to top it all off, I managed to break the sacred Jesus Budda Chalice.

Yes, my mug that I usually drink my tea out of. Smashed. Broken. Destroyed. Gone. For. Ever.

I got two new ones. One is a backup.

All hail the new Chalice (s) of the Cult of Jesus Budda!

Free Will(y)? February 28, 2009

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Ahhh, the idea of Free Will….

Do we have ‘free will’ or is it simply that we’ve convinced ourselves that free will exists?

The idea that we control our path or direction in life is often taken for granted, but what if we have no control and instead are pre-programmed?
What if our destiny is not actually ‘ours’?
And if our destiny is out of our control, who or what the hell is in control of our thoughts and actions???

Before I go on, I’d like to point out that this is probably the most I’ve ever written on one of my postings ever! Do not be afraid. The following posting has pictures to make it all more bearable!


Oh, I see you there smirking as you lay back in your chair and smugly rub your chin.
You’re thinking: “What a load of Jesus Budda bullshit! That stupid, ignorant cult leader is talking crap again”.

So you think you have free will, eh?

Well then, how come I could read your mind?
The very fact you are reading my posting should make you stop and think: “did I read this post by Jesus Budda by choice or am I simply following orders to read this post?”


And even if you now stop reading because you believe I am talking shit, how do you know that I didn’t want you to stop reading at this point?

What are ‘you’?

I’m talking specifically about you and not humans in general?
What makes you think that you have choice?
Is it because you decide what you want to do on a day-to-day basis?
What pair of underpants you do/don’t put on?
What you watch on television?

Surely most of those things are merely society-induced actions?
What you can view on television, for example, what others have predestined what have created; what the TV networks decide to put on the schedules.


The same goes for your underwear.
The very idea of underwear is a society invention, which was beyond your control.
Wearing or not wearing them is a choice given to you by others. If underwear didn’t exist, you wouldn’t have the choice to wear them.

It’s the supermarket theory.

Supermarkets are full of stuff. People go to them and think that they have all the choice in the world as regards value, quality of items and price.
But you can only buy what is on display.
You can only choose what is before you.
What is put in supermarkets is a selection.

The same goes for free will.

The alternative to free will is pre-destiny.

Well, I should say that pre-destiny is an alternative.
There are probably an infinite number of alternatives to free will.
But, because we like the idea of free will so much we tend to only think that the only other alternative is the direct opposite.

When you are born you are basically a sponge for learning or picking up things.
You learn to walk.
You learn to smile.

You learn to speak. If you are surrounded by Chinese, French and Indonesian headhunters as a baby you learn to speak Chinese, French and…whatever the hell Indonesian head hunters speak.
Why you would grow up in such a bizarre situation I have no idea!

You adapt to your surroundings.

You start crying at birth but as time goes on you start to notice that your crying attracts attention and you start doing it more often so as to get what you want.
But is it what you want?
Surely it is more what your body needs?
Surely when you cry to be fed, it is more an automatic response to your body demanding sustenance.
When, as a baby, your mother/father leaves the room you freak out and start crying (again). Is this because you genuinely miss them or the learned response that being alone leaves you vulnerable and the body wants to protect itself from harm?

These are reactions rather than actions.
It’s a bit like putting your hand in the fire by accident and then withdrawing it quickly by instinct.

If free will existed, surely there would be more strange stuff happening amongst people?
But instead, people tend to be remarkably similar.
You could say that the group mentality destroys a certain amount of individuality but what if the group is the individual?
What if we – including both humans and all forms of ‘life’ – are just cells in a greater ‘thing’?

When you think about it, everything is a theory.

Nothing can be proven or unproven for definite – because who decides what is definitive and the idea of something being definitive in the first place is a creation of the mind. And as we’ve (I’ve?) discussed, the mind may not exist in the first place or be controlled by some other process.

The Giant Shoe

My friend Eksith made a comment on this blog a few weeks ago in which he pondered the existence of the Giant Shoe Temple that is so central to the Cult of Jesus Budda.
He wondered (I’m sure after much deep, considerationJ) whether the Shoe already existed or whether it was something that was in process of awaiting to be made.
I know we are talking about a Giant Shoe here, but it has implications for free will and existence in general (as if you can get any less general than ‘existence’):

Either there is and has always been a Giant Shoe Temple or there is no Shoe Temple.
If you choose to believe there is a Giant Shoe Temple or that there has never and never will be one, how can you be sure you are right or wrong – plus how can you be sure that you in fact were in control of your choice in the first place?
If I hadn’t put the idea of a Giant Shoe Temple into your mind you wouldn’t be aware of it.
And if you weren’t aware of the Giant Shoe Temple, you wouldn’t have been in the position to choose to believe or not believe in it.
Your choice was a reaction – a simple ‘on-off switch’ type situation.
Ignore the Giant Shoe Temple and move on, or accept the Giant Shoe Temple and all that goes along with such a mighty architectural beast!
Not so much free will but a primitive survival instinct, really.
Pleasure or pain?
Tea or coffee?

I’d love a mug of tea and a piece of cake right now…..

Whichever way you ‘choose’, I will accept all PayPal donations to the Jesus Budda Cult Fund. Your payment through PayPal will be safe and secure.
You can donate as little or (preferably) as much as you can afford.

May the power of Jesus Budda be with you!

Jesus Budda & Professor Steven Hawking Song February 27, 2009

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Good lord!

Can you think of anything better than a duet between Jesus Budda and Professor Steven Hawking?

I know. It’s the perfect combination!

Download the song for free!
Listen to it.
Enjoy it!

Jesus Budda & Professor Steven Hawking Song

Oh, and leave a donation for the Cult of Jesus Budda via PayPal

Do we exist? February 26, 2009

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Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there. Have you been standing there staring at me longingly for long?
I hope so.
Anyways, lets gt to the point:

Do we exist?

I was thinking about this today.
Oh, I’ve thought about it before (as I’m sure you have too), but I felt the need (urge) to type upon my magical computer keyboard to further ponder the idea.

How do we know we exist? (I’m saying ‘we’ but I’m really talking about myself because I’m unsure if you exist in the first place; whereas i have at least some sort of feeling that I could exist).

Is it based on feeling? Because I can sense that I am ‘here’, therefore I am here?
If I was born without the ability to see, hear, taste, smell and was born with no nerve endings to stimulate feeling, would I be aware of existence?

When I am asleep and if I never awoke would my existence be the dream?
Thats a good one.
Being in the dream would be my reality, which would be my existence.

But then again I would only be thinking of existence if it was pointed out to me the very idea of existence.
Do I accept existence because cultural thinking has decided that ‘existence’, ehm, …exists?

And even if I am sure of my own existence, how the hell can I be sure that you, for instance, exist?

A schizophrenic person could have multiple personalities and believe every one of them was real (presuming of course that you believe in existence and the idea that existence includes others and not just yourself).

The world of a person with multiple personality ‘disorder’ (I put it in inverted commas because who am I to say it’s a disorder in the first place) is real to them.
What makes this world not real?
Is it that someone/some other group says it is unreal?
But how could this group be believed, if their is the possibility that they are merely a figment of your imagination too?

What is consciousness?

Is it being aware of reality?
But how can you know what reality is if you cannot prove existence?
You can believe you exist but you can’t rove it. Sure, you can prove it to yourself and maybe convince some others.
But consciousness is a personal thing.
It depends on the individual.

Which brings me to question the idea of the individual.

How can you be an individual?

If your existence depends on being told that you exist (by your senses or physically being told by others or made ‘aware’ of the point by interaction with a ‘reality’), then how are you an individual.
You are part of something bigger. A group.
Your entire ‘existence’ (sorry for all these inverted commas and brackets!) is not really yours but a compilation of existences of others.

Maybe we are just part of someone else’s existence?
We come in, do our thing and then leave. The problem is that nobody told us exactly what to do and why!

Well, whatever the case you know that Jesus Budda will always be here to help you try to come to terms with your own existence or non-existence.

Maybe we can help each other out? A “you tell me I exist and I tell you that you exist” – kind of thing.
I will not lie to you.
But then again, how can you trust me not to lie if you cannot accept that I exist.
And don’t get me started on why we die!

Recording Session with Professor Steven Hawking February 24, 2009

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I had Professor Steven Hawking in the studio today to record some vocals fro the much awaited (by someone) duet between himself and Jesus Budda called Black Hole.

He arrived late. Blamed a flat wheel for the delay. He was in a bad mood.
He made all sorts of outrageous demands: no blue M&M’s, special brand of batteries fro his computer speak and spell voice machine, that sort of stuff.

But his voice was in good shape.
He learned the words to the song and even improvised a little.

He then told me to get out of his fucking way and went spinning off out into the garden to chase some cats.

What a man.

The song is being mixed at the moment and will be released very, very soon.
Stay tuned, losers!

Jesus Budda Brings you Love February 23, 2009

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I thought I’d bring you all some love. Why not? Nothing better to hand out to you lovely people.

Have some love. Do with it what you like.
I could give a shit.

Give yourself a kiss on the head with it.
Wash your car with it.
Stuff your pillow with it.
Comb your hair.
Do whatever you want. I don’t give a damn.

The love is only usable for a few hours before it expires so you’d better not waste time.

That is all.

Love,
Jesus Budda
Cult Leader

That Donald Rumsfeld Speech February 22, 2009

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There are some speeches that live in the memory for years and are inspiring, etc.

Some are short like Neil Armstrong’s “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” bumbler.

Others are deeply moving and easily impersonated like Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream speech..”

Then there are some speeches that are something else. Something bigger. Something much…more.

And the daddy of these types of speeches in Donald Rumsfeld’s infamous “Know knowns” speech.

Here is that genuine classic of nonsense speeches:

“Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

Here is a picture of something funny to accompany this speech.

Vomit on the Streets February 21, 2009

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This is a disgusting topic but an important one.
I am sick of trying to avoid stepping in vomit on the streets.
It’s bad enough trying to avoid stepping in dog shit, or where people have spat or pissed but honestly – vomit!
It is disgusting.
If you can’t hold your drink then don’t drink so much, loser!

The worst thing is the person who vomits on the street always manages to make the biggest mess possible. It’s not good enough to aim at one target when instead they try and hit everything!

My new shoes....ruined
I bought a new pair of shoes and wanted to ease myself into them and get them nice and comfortable. Naturally the first thing i step in is SOMEONE ELSE’S VOMIT!!!!

Bastards!

Where I was walking was a minefield of animal excrement and bile.
I could have narrowly avoided the vomit but then I’d have to take my chances with the lump of dog shit neatly coiled up a few feet away from it. Then there was the splattering of blood and some delightful snotty, phlegmy spittle which formed an interesting cob-webbed pattern on the opposite side of the the shit.
Obey this doormat

Don’t drink unless you are a qualified alcoholic who can handle the demon juice.
Don’t spit unless you are wearing a muzzle.
Don’t let your dog shit unless it is in your own home and preferably sitting in your favorite chair.

My shoes need a good washing. I’ll return when the deed is done.

Mysteries of the Universe February 20, 2009

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Ever stop to wonder about ’stuff’?
No?!
What the hell is wrong with you, fool????

The world is full of so many unusual events and occurrences.
Lets consider some strange things:


Why does the telephone/mouse cable get all tangled and curled up like that?
The same goes for dust gathering under your bed and in the corners of the room.
Is this a small scale version of what happens throughout the Universe with galaxies and stars?
I suppose stuff just tends to want to join up with other stuff.
People, dirt, snow, leaves….they just like to bond, don’t they?
They have all the space in the world to spread out in but they like gathering together in piles.
Bastards!


Gravity.
Why’s it there?
I know what it does but what the hell made it exist in the first place?
I don’t want the reason where it came from – I want the reason why it came, if you know what I mean.


The Oscars:
What purpose do they serve.
That dead, shitty actor Heath Ledger will get a posthumous award for Best Supporting Actor this week but it’s totally pointless. Sean ‘big nose wimp’ Penn will probably get one too. And Kate ‘cry baby’ Winslet.
All of them shit actors and people who make very little money for the studio.
So why award these bastards?!
Because they are friendly with the Oscar voters?
Fuck off!
Oscars should only be given out when something deserves an award because it is entertaining.


Most of the shit that gets Oscars is, well, shit.
Boring films, hateful actors and most of the movies rewarded get a tiny box office. Of course the Oscar win will help give that poorly performing film a bit of an extra push to recoup it’s investors money.

I say, fuck the Oscars unless something good is actually released.
Something that entertains.
Not something featuring somebody dying, somebody retarded who overcomes the odds, somebody from a minority group who dies horribly, someone from a bad background who rises to power and helps his/her community, a film based on a play, a film based on the contents of someones toilet, a film based on a the last words of a dying, orphaned piece of toast!

Take a look around you, people. See the wonders of the World. Not the big things, but the little, seemingly insignificant stuff. Take in it’s wonder and amaze yourself.
Then watch the Oscars and scratch your head some more.

Top Searches for Today February 19, 2009

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It’s always funny to see what people who visit this website came here from.
Here are todays top searches:

“famous movie stars naked,
naked retards,
www.thewowimage,
budda song,
pictures of naked women movie stars”

Naked retards?
People search for such things?
Crazy!

That is all.