Jesusbudda’s Weblog

Worried Parents have launched worldwide vigils outside schools, playgrounds, strip clubs and other places which are common gathering areas for children and miniature human beings to protest against the rise in sightings of naked hairy men.

It’s unknown why in God’s name these naked men have decided to turn up at such locations, but scientists believe it may be connected with the path of the Sun across the sky and the fact that many of these ‘naked hairy men’ are actually monkey’s who like climbing.

“You see it’s very simple really. These are not human beings. They are common monkeys. Orangutan, chimpanzee, the rare bonobo’s. Animals who just want to climb and play on the monkey bars and swing from the poles in the strip clubs. There is no need to panic”, said a Scientist who did not wish to be named because his wife told him to stop talking to reporters – especially after that incident involving the elephant, which resulted in the deaths of 12 gold miners last year.

Barbara Fudgcicle, a worried mother with an eating problem and two small fat children, said she was “worried” and “angered” at the thought of these “weirdo’s” hanging around where they really shouldn’t be.

“I hate these f*cking hairy freaks”, shouted Barbara, “we should gang up and kill them. Do it for the children”.

Barbabra later informed us that she intends to take her two fat f*ck kids to the zoo tomorrow to see the “monkeys”.

A spokesman for actor Robin Williams said that the Hollywood star was not involved in these recent events but did not rule out future appearances in the future.